Episode 24 - Game Boys

!
Appraised by Media's the name, podcasting's the game.
It's dangerous to go alone, take us.
We came here to chew bubblegum, and make jokes. Wait a minute... That one's from They Live! What the hell, Duke?

Items this week: the 1-Up mushroom, the homerun bat, and the checkpoint controller.

Thanks to The Sometimes Geek Podcast for the intro this week. Check them out at sometimesgeek.com.

Outro music: "The New Formation" by Disasterpeace

Episode 23 - Ahoy!

The reports of our deaths have been greatly exaggerated. Well, okay, exaggerated might not be the best word... Accurate? But if we told you the truth, you wouldn't have to remember anything, and where's the fun in that? Welcome back to Appraised by Media where thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Items this week: the ring of contradiction, and the orange of peeling.

Thanks to the Raised by Media podcast for the intro this week. Check them out at  r̢a͡is̛e̴d̴b̶͟ym҉e̡d̴͟ią́͜.c̴om̕.

Outro music: "Ocean Man" by Ween

Episode 22 - More Weight

Duncan regrets that his last words weren't something cooler. Malcolm regrets that his will failed to specify which beanie baby he was to be buried with. The brothers always knew they would be executed, though they guessed it would be for witchcraft. Thanks for listening to Season One everyone.

Items this week: the gun of lost items, and the door to the Mother IKEA.

Intro music: "This Is Not the End" by Laura Gibson
Outro music "Farewell Transmission" by Songs: Ohia

Episode 21 - The Wolf of Wall Street

Sometimes, in our darkest hours, we can imagine a world without Jackie Chan. And how sad that world must be. And how scared and lost the inhabitants of that world must feel. And how we must never - never - let this world come to pass.

Items this week: indestructible double sided sticky tape, and the lighter of shared memories.

Intro music: "Kodoku No Hatsumei" by Toe
Outro Music: "Stuck in the Middle with You" by Stealers Wheel

Episode 20 - I Know Why The Caged Bird Goofs

Duncan and Malcolm ain't seen the sunshine since they don't know when. This week sees the duo stuck in Gideon Gadzooks' Gulag on New Corsica island. Maybe it's all the time spent in solitary, slow motion confinement - or maybe they finally lost it - but time keeps dragging on.

Items this week: a message in a bottle, the random drink mug, and the anything straw.

Intro music: "Galoog" by Malcolm Gibbs
Outro music: "Untitled #1," "Untitled #2," "Untitled #3," and "Untitled #4" by Duncan Gibbs

Episode 19 - Punch Line Zing

This week features our first and funniest special guest. Live in the studio, the brothers are joined by none other than the shapeless one himself, Shavalyoth! ... What's that? We're sorry, but we have just been informed that Shavalyoth cannot be picked up on microphones. We assure you that his presence can be felt though.

Items this week: the wax candle, Drake's drum, and a Kafka bed.

Intro music: "Digging Holes" by Icarus Himself
Outro music: "I Found a Way" by Drake Bell

Episode 18.5 - Gooey and Gooeyer

Which is more believable: that this episode isn’t even close to the longest discussion the brothers have had about jelly, or that they used their one phone call to get this description transcribed?

Items this week: the mystery enchantment jelly.

Intro music: “Gooey” by Glass Animals
Outro music: “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police

Episode 18 - Sympathy for Al Pacino

Hell can come in many forms: war... other people... a box full of horrifyingly accurate fortunes. This week the brothers try to get a leg up on fate itself, but mostly giggle at each other's misfortunes. Hooah.

Items this week: Gideon Gadzook's Delphic Cookie Twists.

Intro music: "Movie Finale" by Madlib
Outro music: "Fame and Fortune" by Elvis Presley

Episode 17 - Seeds of Destruction

On any other week, the brothers' flights of fancy would have made this episode for the birds. But fate has this episode sowing the seeds of the duo's own - Oh crap, it's the Pun Police! We gotta book it! I can't go back to pun prison!

Items this week: the heart of the sky, the seed of doubt, and the liar's tree.

Intro music: "Animal Spirits" by Vulfpeck
Outro music: "Down to the Earth" by Haruomi Hosono

Episode 16 - Cease and Resist

The brothers would normally use this space to apologize to our fans for putting up our episode late. They would usually make a joke about how the Gnar escaped its cage, and ate all of their equipment. But this week they have to use this space for a different apology: sorry Rob Lowe. We cool?

Items this week: the demonically nice chair, the extra hour watch, and a Gideon Gadzooks Golden Goose.

Intro music: "Expanding Anyway" by Morning Teleportation
Outro Music: "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" by The Velvet Underground

Episode 15 - Bedtimes Exist for a Reason

The goof factor is high on this one, folks. Maybe it’s because they haven’t slept since their all expenses paid vacation to Ghulheim, the nightmare capital, but the brothers seem especially slap happy this week. Maybe it’s Maybelline?

Items this week: the famous author’s blood inkwell, the personal stats dice bag, and the universal car key dongle.

Intro music: “Quitter’s Raga” by Gold Panda
Outro music: “Renaissance!” by San Fermin

Episode 14 - The Odds Are Good, But The Goods Are Odd

Sinkholes are no laughing matter. But luckily this podcast is. Assuming you find Runescape cosplayers, sentient milkshakes, and masturbating to Bob's Burgers laughing matters... That is a sentence we genuinely never thought we'd have to type.

Items this week: half of the ring of ultimate power, the juggernaut jukebox, and the twenty minute invisibility cloak.

Intro music: "Get Away" by Yuck
Outro music: "Get Away" by Yuck

Episode 13 - Literally Full of Beans

The interdimensional brothers have a new interdimensional patron in the form of Gideon Gadzooks Industries. This week, they spend their extra long episode agonizing over which jelly beans give the most bang for their buck, and spend surprisingly little time eating jelly beans. So don't worry, no one is happy with this arrangement.

Items this week: Gideon Gadzook's cursed or blessed jelly beans.

Intro music: "The Mystery Zone" by Spoon
Outro music: "Jabu Jabu's Belly" by The Magic Beans

Episode 12 - Marcel Mar-Suck It

The brothers are back from vacation and getting into the swing of things again. Some would call this a “classic” episode, but we would remind those people that this episode involves discussing killing Derek, Dwayne Johnson, and mimes in general. So let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Items this week: the cannibal room of immortality, the rock dentures, and barrier chalk.

Intro music: “My Wife, Lost in the Wild” by Beirut
Outro music: “Blue Turning Grey” by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Episode 11 - I'm Mr. Wet and He's Mr. Wild

Beer, fishing, and existential crises. You know, normal vacation things. The Gibbs brothers forgot to mention that they will be on vacation next week still, so there will not be an episode next week. Enjoy not listening to those two. They wish that was an option for them.

Items this week: an all-fingers monkey paw, the deerstalker of deduction, and the business cards of truth.

Intro music: "Wishes" by Beach House
Outro music: "Tezeta" by Mulatu Astatke

Episode 10 - You've Been... Thunder-shucked

Our lenders lunge laboriously into the limitless, lugubrious leeches. Weekly weakened by wicked winnings, they think thimblefuls of their threat. Could the couple's curtain call be their cupidity? Did Duncan grow tired of this bit a while back?

Items this week: leech tank, the critical crystal ball, permanent sunglasses, and the apocalyptic music box.

Intro music: "My Only Swerving" by El Ten Eleven
Outro music: "Jay" by Disasterpeace

Episode 9 - Two Men and a Desert

The brothers discovered a magic lamp. The creature inside granted them three wishes. Malcolm immediately wished to be stuck in the desert for all eternity. Duncan wished to not be stuck in the desert for all eternity. The third wish created this episode. Enjoy.

Items this week: the milk of popularity, a laser gun, and the mustache of impersonation.

Intro song: "Half a World Away" by REM
Outro song: "Water No Get Enemy" by Fela Kuti

Episode 7 - Douglas All the Way Down

Challenges, heartbreak and betrayal... Someone has been keeping a dark secret... The show will never be the same... Sorry, I was watching The Bachelorette and writing this blurb at the same time. We mostly just rambled.

Items this week: the true love guitar, the teleporting diaper, and the heart computer.

Intro song: "Just the Two of Us" by Grover Washington Jr. and Bill Withers
Outro song: "When the World Comes to an End" by The Dirty Projectors and Bjork

Episode 6 - Zark Muckerberg

"Babs, will you read us back the minutes?"
"You spent most of the time making fun of Brad Garrett, James Cameron, and Mark Zuckerberg. Your best joke was the first one you made. Do I really have to?"
"I miss phone Barbara..."

Items this week: a spray bottle of human emotions, the infinite sequel shelf, and the doppelganger phone.

Intro song: "Hit or Miss" by Odetta
Outro song: "Twilight" by ELO