We did it. This episode even has an intro and an outro. It has everything. References to dead professional wrestlers? Check. Terrible, terrible superhero names? Check. A Boyhood-esque chronicle of one host's slow descent into alcoholism? You know it.
Items this week: the forever $20 wallet, the emperor's box, and the precise death date tattoo machine.
Intro music: "The Girl Who Stole My Tamagochi" by Hot Sugar
Outro music: "Pure Imagination" by Fiona Apple